Saturday, November 8, 2014

Ok, So Blog A Day, Numero Ocho - Godzilla(2014), A Review

So, I'm tied to the house this weekend, as I am on call, so Babaloo and I watched Godzilla for the first time.  One of the first big summer blockbusters, it stars Aaron Taylor Johnson (or is it Johnson Taylor?  Who cares, his shirt never came off) and Ken Wannatabe as a soldier and a scientist who explain every moment of the movie for you because the whole thing is so convoluted, you need narration.  Pretty much, the movie goes like this: Two horny mutant moths travel halfway around the world to get DTF, and only Godzilla can stop them, but not before he and the horny moths destroy big chunks of Japan and San Francisco (with a little bit of Las Vegas thrown in for good measure - one of the lease believable parts of the movie?  The TV on in the casino with the 24 hour news channel on it right over the slot machines.....way to go for realism, guys....JEESH!)

The film is dreadful.  It is dark through just about ANYTHING that involves the monsters, even making sure that the monsters fight under dark clouds when it's the middle of the day.  Godzilla shows up for what feels like MAYBE the last half hour of the film.  The rest of it is the two horny moths (and by the way, we REALLY didn't need to shot of the female moth's sack'o'radioactive marbles from behind.  That was just gratuitous.  The female horny moth community should be outraged.)  Godzilla looked pretty awesome (what we could see of  The angry eyes and furrowed brow gave the creature a emotion.  It seemed like the final battle was the same fight move (the male moth flying up behind Godzilla repeatedly and attacking) happened like 6 times.  And when Mommy moth went after future Quicksilver because she KNEW what he was responsible for...well, it was just ridiculous....  All the actors in this do the Naomi Watts "I'm going to realize something is behind me, make my eyes really big and slowly turn around." move at least once.  Oh, and Bryan Cranston is in this, too.  And future Scarlet Witch, as future Quicksilver's wife...even though they will be brother and sister in the next Avengers movie....ew.)
Can anyone tell me how to get to Ghirardelli?

I would have to say that while it was nice to watch something that involved NO brain cells, this one was not a good film.  Which is why I'm glad that Babaloo can take responsibility for choosing it from Netflix.  But, what the hell do I know, I've still got the Lone Ranger Blu Ray sitting on my coffee table.

1 comment:

bill said...

Thanks for the review. Now I don't have to waste my time. Did not seem like it was going to be good. I am in to gay movies. Good one, which are hard to find. Know any good ones. Keep them coming.