Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Ok, So Blog A Day, Number 11 - The Five WORST Rides At Walt Disney World

So, a few days ago, I posted what the top 10 rides/attractions are at Walt Disney World, and while it is clear, I love going to visit the parks, there are some children I love more than others.  These five are the things you should REALLY try to avoid (or see once, to show that I'm right) at the various parks.

Again, in no particular order....

The Seas With Nemo And Friends (EPCOT)  This ride shows off the entire Finding Nemo film in approximately 9 and a half minutes.  It is a gateway ride that drops you off in the Seas pavilion with it's enormous aquarium and the ability to "talk" with Crush, the turtle from the film.  It's the Nemo part that's kind of horrible.  First of all, it's been years since the whole ride has worked.  Various pieces of the ride just sort of sit in the dark, barely out of view.  Also, the ride also attempts to boil down key scenes in the film (understandable), but the length of the scenes is often shorter than the ride's speed, so you end up hearing the same lines overlapping the next part of the "show," which then overlaps the next part of the "show," which then.... You get the idea.

The Voyage Of The Little Mermaid (Disney Hollywood Studios).  A show that is SO dated (like most of DHS), with it's black light puppeteering, an Ursula where you can see where the foam tentacles have begun to dry out and rot, and a laser light show that was cutting in edge in 1989, but now, with only two of the four lights that represent you going underwater working (as was the case when Babaloo and I last went over the summer with his niece), it's a show that has definitely lived past it's time.  If you're lucky, you will get an Ariel who can hit all the notes from Part Of Your World.  If you're lucky.  We were, how can I say this politely....not lucky.

Under The Sea - Journey Of The Little Mermaid (Magic Kingdom)  Man, I really have it in for Ariel, don't I?  This attraction is one of the new rides at the park, opening less than 2 years ago in the New Fantasy Land portion of the park.  My complaints about it are that it is BEAUTIFUL outside, with Prince Eric's Castle and Coral Reefs that you walk through....and walk through.....and walk through....to get to the ride.  Similar to The Seas With Nemo (maybe it's just underwater themed rides I hate), the ride takes about 5 minutes and tells the WHOLE Little Mermaid story by song with nothing really tying each of the songs together.  It suddenly ends with the wedding and a painted dead Ursula on the opposing wall.  To say I was disappointed when waiting 90 minutes the first time we rode this only to have this would be an understatement.  I've ridden it a few times since with much less of a wait, and the feeling is still very "meh" when I am done.  But, again, it's really purty to look at from outside.

Swiss Family Treehouse (Magic Kingdom)  Steps?  Outside In Florida In August?  Fuck you.

Dinosaur (Animal Kingdom)  Now, I will be the first to say I will be outvoted on this one by Taffy and Babaloo, but I hate this ride.  The only thing I like about this ride is the queue for it is inside and for some reason, I always remember it as being SUPER cold because of AC.  You ride in some Jeep Grand Cherokee through The Land Before Time (or a version of it - I know that's not owned by Disney.)  Eventually, you come across a T-Rex-But-They-Can't-Call-It-A-T-Rex-Because-Of-Universal's-Jurrasic-Park-Down-The-Street.  It's super dark and super bumpy and the part where the T-Rex thing comes out of the dark and tries to bite your head off and the speaker is in it's mouth and it's super loud?  No, thanks.  Props to the fact that they made it look like the dinosaur runs along side your car for a little while, but I'm usually counting the moments until the fucking ride is over.

Ok, so like with my other post, what are your least favorite rides/attractions at Walt Disney World?


Babaloo 4 U said...

Dislike! I disagree with three out of the five. :) You sir...are wrong! Love you boo

Tricia in Massachusetts said...

The Great Movie ride is in the most desperate need of updating.

The microphones constantly cut out, the "actors" could give a shit, and the whole place has been neglected to a depressing degree.

My other worst ride is The Enchanted Tiki Room *Under New Management. No.

And I LOVE Disney.

Disney Family Fanatics said...

I have to disagree/agree with you on 1 ride. Swiss Family Treehouse was a favorite of mine when I was younger at Disneyland and was very sad when they turned it into Tarzan's Treehouse, which is very disappointing considering it was an original from Walt. But yes, steps in Florida is a big Fuck You. :-) Although I do still love it and would venture to it if I ever visit Walt Disney World again as the last time I was there was 2008.