Sunday, April 20, 2014

Ok, So An Update (No, The Show's Not Going Away)

Taylor here.  I considered not saying anything about this on here, but feel that it would be important to give an explanation of sorts for the coming weeks.

I have, over the last few weeks, been having what I can only call a small emotional crisis.  I am anxious all the time, have a tendency to blow up at the smallest detail and have been quite frankly annoyed at just about everything and everyone, including loved ones, friends, and my job.  I feel overwhelmed, unable to focus.  I've actually had a couple of days last week where I was so unable to focus, I got lost in my territory for work, a part of the county that I have worked in for over a decade.  Work, home life, social life….it has all run together and it has really begun to affect my physical and mental health. I am emotionally and physically exhausted.  I also know that I would be a lot worse off without the support of Babaloo, Rodan and Taffy, all of whom have suffered through daily "mac and cheese" moments, being yelled at and hung up on.  Not one of them has told me what I "should" do or how to do things.  They have listened to me and let me vent/whine/bitch,  And I love all three of them for it.

My life has felt really out of control and I am going to try to take some control back.  I have an appointment with a therapist tomorrow afternoon and am going to try to live my life with a little more structure and focus.

The podcast isn't going anywhere - I truly love doing it (it gives me some o that structure I was talking about) and I love the connection I have with all of you guys that listen to it.  That being said, we are taking this week off, not only because it's Easter, but I need a small break.  I have every intention of us coming back next week and on our usual regular schedule.  I just need the break this week.  And when we come back, we will be silly, and inappropriate and all the things we usually are, but I'm sure this topic will come up as well.  I also expect my cohosts to bust my balls about this, within reason, because that's what we do.

You are also going to see less of me on Facebook and Tumblr (those that have found my tumblr page).  One of the issues I feel has been a big part of these feelings is I get sucked into social media as a way to ignore, forget.  I literally jump from FB to Tumblr to Feedly to local news, then do it all over again.  A lot of what I read is upsetting or frustrating to me (read: negative), so I am going to try and remove that from my life as best I can.  If anyone needs to get a hold of me, please do so at the podismycopilot gmail addy.  I will also continue posting on Instagram and will jump on Twitter every once in a while.  FB and Tumblr seem to be the main culprits of frustration for me, so they're going a way for a while.

Part of me doesn't necessarily want to post this, and I don't want it to read as a cry for attention - I assure you, it's not. This isn't fun.  But I know that as our show is a personal journal podcast, I would be talking about this issue (hopefully with humor) on the show, but wanted a way to get my reasoning/points across without going off tangent or being distracted as we sometimes get on PiMC (shocking, I know.)  I'm going to thank you all publicly now for the support I know you are going to give me from across the world. Please be patient with me while I figure this all out (or do my best to try to.) Please also be patient if I don't respond to words of encouragement right away.  I promise I will look at them and appreciate every single word.

I'm still the same Taylor.  We're still going to be the same show. And I appreciate each and every one of you that listens to our show and reads this post

Love to you all,

PS.  When Pride48 comes back with a state of the station, if I'm not back on here, could someone shoot me an email so I know when to listen?  Thanks! :)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hi Taylor,

Thank you for sharing this with us.

I'm sorry you are dealing with so much right now, but am grateful that you are taking the necessary steps to return to a healthy place.

You have all of our love and all of our patience.

Wishing you beautiful days ahead,