Ok, So First I'd......Then She'd......

So, last night, I was on my own for Christmas Eve. I had a quiet evening at home planned, with visions of chicken bog and Playstation 3 in my head. I had to run over to Taffy's for something (more on THAT on the next podcast, I'm sure), and when I come in my house through my back door, I hear a knock on my front door. I answer it, and it's my next door neighbor. He's throwing a party (as he is oft to do) and tells me to get my ass over there, he has more food and drink than he knows what to do with. So, I say, sure, let me just get changed and I'll be over in a few minutes.
The party was very nice - everyone there was great. I spent most of the evening talking with my neighbor's partner's family, a lovely couple in their 70s. That's when things went downhill.
See, there was this woman there....Apparently, she was (or is) involved in a lot of community theatre? Well, she took it upon herself to sing accompany all the christmas carols (between puffs on her Virginia Slims). A throaty gal, she sounded like Brenda Vaccaro singing Silent Night. Somehow, the stereo got turned on, and the soundtrack to Chicago comes on, the first song being "They Both Reached For The Gun." My neighbor and his friend were singing along, being silly, and apparently, Roxie Hart over here decided that she needed to be part of the act. She stood next to the two of them, and slumped over, kinda like a ventriloquist dummy (Those of you who have seen Chicago...and let's face it, if you're reading this blog, you've seen Chicago...will know what I'm talking about.). Waitng for her big part...the one line that Renee Zellweiger has in the song, she leaps up and says, "ARE YOU KIDDING?" with all the subtlety of a cat after you step on it's tail. Everyone claps at the end of the song....for the two guys (who I will say for having had 19 drinks each actually kept up with the song really good.)
But, see, Velma wasn't done. She proceeded to sing the rest of the soundtrack - and unfortunately, she decided the best place to do this where the parents and I were sitting, literally getting up in my face (I was sitting) and dancing to I Can't Do It Alone.She even literally pulled up a bar stool during the slower songs (Mr. Cellophane, Nowadays) and in between songs/lyrics, she would revel us with stories of her days as a community theatre player, which would be fine except no one was asking her to.
So we get to the end of the CD, I think to myself, "Thank God," but her piano playing homosexual screeches out, "Wait! No one got to see her do Cell Block Tango! She does ALL the parts!!!"
AAAAAAAAAAND we're done! I got up (along with 5 or 6 other people who she had blocked from leaving with her "stage", thanked our hosts for a lovely evening, and I came home. ate my Chicken Bog, and played a downloadable demo of Mirror's Edge on PS3, drinkin my ginger ale, because, you know, it makes me feel fancy!
Later on, I went to take some trash out, and from over the fence, I could hear her screeching the words to "God I Hope I Get It" from A Chorus Line.
What an asshole.