Ok so, A very Taffy Christmas

‘Twas the day before the night before Christmas and all near my hips

Were Lola's hot chocolate that sneaked past my lips.

Fudge brownies were stored in the freezer with care

In hopes that my thighs would forget they were there.
While Taylor was gone, I thought I might snap

But if he saw me eat junk, he would give me such crap.

When out in the pantry there arose such a clatter

I sprang from my couch to see what was the matter.
Away to the kitchen I flew like a flash,

Tore open the freezer then opened the trash.

The marshmallow dream (since we have no) snow

Sent thoughts of a binge to my body below.
When what to my wandering eyes should appear

A peanut butter Santa with eight chocolate reindeer!

That huge chunk of candy so luscious and slick

I knew in a second that I’d wind up sick.
The sweet-coated santa, those sugared reindeer

I closed my eyes tightly but still I could hear;

"On Splenda, on protein, on sugar free jello, On brocoli, and apples you've come this far...Hello."
From the top of the scales to the top of the hall

Now dash away pounds now dash away all.

Dressed up in Lane Bryant from my head to toes

My clothes did look better I have to suppose.

My pouty little mouth and my round little belly,

They shook when I came near the donuts with jelly.

I spoke not a word but went straight to my work

I hid all of the candy then turned with a jerk.
And laying a finger on the fruitcake that burned

Gave a quick nod toward the bedroom I turned.

I eased into bed, to the heavens I cry–

If temptation’s removed I’ll get thin by and by.

And I mumbled again as I turned for the night

In the morning I’ll be good… ’til I take that first bite!