My Darling Nessa,Taylor is in the shower, and he does not know I am using his blogger account to send you a message.
Our time together, while brief, was adequate. I'll always love your crinkled nose, your hair in the rain, the way you can write your name in the snow.
But Taylor completes me. He's able to fill voids in my heart (yeah, that's it...heart....) that you cannot. And most importantly, he can suck a golf ball through 20 feet of garden hose.
So now I must bid you adeiu, my little tangerine. But fret not, I'll always remember our night of passion...as it led me to Taylor.
Always yours...kinda.....,
B
P.S. I faked my orgasm.
2 comments:
Oh dear, oh dear - this is desperate...
Exactly the same thing happened at his prom. While everyone else was having fun, dancing and snogging with their dates, Taylor hid in the basement and used the vacuum cleaner to give himself fake hickeys...
But now, abusing the garden hose and a golf ball to play with himself and his imaginary "friend". Kinda sad, isn´t it?
B.A. (currently in the hot south of Germany)
P.S. One thing however is true, Nessa - the orgasm was faked. I am an actor after all :)
hmph
Ben, you are not that good of an actor; however, I am. ;)
Just because I packed your things and left them on the doorstep is no reason to lie and be nasty.
And of course Taylor can suck golfballs through a garden hose, I mean he's had enough practice. I'm a lady, not a hoe.
I'm fine with you settling for Taylor, do what you need to to get over me. I have moved on.
Matt Damon says hi.
Love and Kisses,
your ex-nessa poo
(Taylor, I love you haha!)
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