Ok so...I've consigned myself to Hell

The following article is reposted from the News-Star here in Monroe. Read it...and you will understand what I've gotten myself into...the story is actually cute until the moral at the end.



Rocky and Dixie Belle, my lovable chocolate labs, were missing, AWOL that's absent without official permission and it wasn't the first time.




I spent more than an hour riding around the neighborhood with my car window down calling for 'em.

As the day turned into the night, I got somewhat concerned. It was getting way past supper time, and those two canines are Jethro Bodine serious about their vittles.


When I finally spotted them cavorting with some of their furry friends near the local convenience store I pulled into the parking lot, lowered the tail-gate, and hollered at 'em in my best "Y'all are in deep trouble" voice.
Dixie Belle came running immediately. She's a few years old now but she's still mama's baby. Rocky (my son named him after Rocky Balboa) thought about standing his ground for just a second.


I could sense it. Rocky's an old papaw, and sometimes he likes to throw his weight around like his namesake. I was having none of it. The second time I growled something in my tone must've said game over. He decided to gallop my way, too.


I smelled both of 'em about thirty feet away. Good gosh-a-mighty! They were wearing, "Deathly Delight," every dog's favorite scent.


Yes, they'd found something dead to roll in, and it smelled like they'd been rolling a while. I had to literally hold my breath while I loaded them and put the tail-gate up.


My sweet darlings were quite oblivious to the stench that surrounded them but I couldn't wait to get them home. This situation called for a bath in the lake, pronto.


You know, finding my dogs in that sorry stink didn't make me love 'em any less. It just made me want to clean 'em up- faster than quick.


That's how I picture our Heavenly Father's love, only more so because His love is perfect. Maybe you've been rolling around in the decay of this old world's culture, and you're afraid you're just a little too smelly for the Master.


Hog-wash! Listen to the old favorite verse, "God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved."


That's John 3:16, and it means He is more than willing to clean you up. Your part is to turn from your stinky ways and run towards Him. I can hear Him calling now. Can you?



So yeah..this is my new home town newspaper...and I was wondering why allthe fags in town are 'discrete'. Lordy have mercy.