Ok, So...I stole this from David Spade

"Black Snake Moan" is a moving tale about the scourge of Nymphomania and the hope for a cure. Christina Ricci plays Rae, a woman who can't get enough sex. She wants sex so much, she's willing to go almost any length to get it, including asking for it. After a Jdate gone horribly wrong, she's left for dead in the middle of the street, where she's found by Lazarus, a blues musician played by Samuel R. Jackson.

Lazarus instantly chains Rae to a radiator to cure her. There is a long history of blues musicians chaining nymphomaniacs to radiators to replace their insatiable desire for sex with a love of meandering guitar solos. During the 1960s, B.B. King reportedly had up to fifteen nymphomaniacs chained to radiators at any given time. Unfortunately, he then moved into a place with central heat, stranding hundreds of nymphomaniacs.

I was moved to tears thinking of all the nymphomaniacs I could cure, if only I had a big enough radiator and a long enough chain. In fact, the government should look into building a giant radiator to which we could chain all of the nation's nymphomaniacs, and cure them, once and for all. I think Hillary Clinton has proposed this, but I'm not sure.

I wasn't the only one who loved this movie (but not so much I need a blues musician to chain me to a radiator). I witnessed several audience members with one hand tapping their seat, and the other one down their pants.

This movie is best seen with children, so if you don't have kids of your own, borrow one!

I was going to say, "Run, don't walk," to see "Black Snake Moan," but instead I'll say, "Take a light jog to see this movie, or run, then walk in intervals until you arrive at the theater.

And best of all, "Black Snake Moan" is not that racist, so you won't feel so bad afterwards. If you can only see one movie this weekend, I'd recommend you take your "Wild Hog" to "Black Snake Moan."